Just breathe

On Friday, my grandma stopped breathing.

Since the moment we received the call informing us of this tragedy my focus on breathing has been almost obsessive.

• Just breathe - repeated over and over in my mind, as we drove to the hospital Friday evening.
  
  
• Just breathe - as I stood in her hospital room responding "I'm her granddaughter" when the doctors asked who I was and then decided whether or not to give me information.
  
  
• Just breathe - as I stood beside her hospital bed trying to calm her before they removed her breathing tube thinking "Am I old enough to be the person here with her now?  Maybe I should go find an adult?" and then realizing - crap - I am an adult.
  
  
• Just breathe - as they took her off the ventilator.
  
  
• Just breathe - on your own, grandma.  Don't fight it, don't struggle, be calm, relax.
  
  
• Just breathe - every time I speak or write or read the words "she stopped breathing" and lose my own breath for a moment.
  
  
• Just breathe - with each new moment, each new piece of information, each new day.

Praise God everyday for giving you the breath of life.  Be thankful for every breath you are blessed to take.  Marvel at the complexity - the life giving necessity - of a simple breath.  And when life gets too overwhelming to process - too painful, too difficult, too tragic - just breathe.