I am blessed

Today is a very special day for a very special person in my life - it's my husband's birthday.  I considered writing about how wonderful he is but doing so doesn't seem quite right given his private nature - and quite honestly I'm not sure I want to share so much of him with the world (or even the handful of family and friends who actually read my blog!).  Call me selfish but I am blessed to be one of the few who know him intimately and have true knowledge of just how fabulous he is.  Happy Birthday Sweatpea!

As I've contemplated how blessed I am to have my sweetie over the past few days it has inevitably brought to mind many other blessings God has given me and my family.  I know that I am not worthy of His abundant love and gracious gifts.  I know that I am richly blessed and yet I so often find myself focusing not on all that I have but on all that I so desperately want.  Honestly, it's a bit embarrassing and kind of makes me sick when I stop to think about it. 

It is my heart's desire to see my life as God sees it.  I want to overcome my tendency to take for granted and overlook all that I have - all that I've been given.  I want to overcome my tendency to complain  - sometimes over all that I have - sometimes over all that I so desperately want.  I want my focus to be on God and His ways rather than the world and its ways.  I want to dwell in a place of joy and content, overflowing with gratitude - a place that does not rely on the perfect mix of circumstances but rather a place that relies on the One and Only who is truly reliable.  I know that I will fall short but I am hopeful that the act of trying will itself be a blessing.