It's not a coincidence

As many of you know I've been going through an extended time of trial lately.  With each passing day I am finding it harder and harder to stand firm in my faith.  I am ready for God to relieve me of this burden - I've been ready for several weeks.  So yesterday, during my quiet time, I begged God to make his presence known to me.  It was an ugly, angry plea complete with tears that went something like this "I get it - I am not capable of dealing with this situation.  I am clearly not able to do this on my own - I am not enough.  So where are you?  Why haven't you stepped in?  I need you to SHOW UP and be God!"

It was an honest plea if nothing else.  And you know what - He answered me!

Yesterday, the Lord made it very clear that I need to wait on, rely on and trust in him and that my weariness is a result of my self reliance.  I struggle with self reliance - trying to do everything myself even though it is painfully clear that I am not capable - can you say 'insanity'?  I also struggle with trusting God - knowing he can but doubting that he will step in.  Mathew 11:28 was thrust before me on multiple occasions throughout the day - it says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Imagine that.

It is amazing to me to see God show up so obviously in my life.  It's a blessing I really needed.  In addition to struggling with self reliance and trusting God I struggle with hearing the voice of God.  Over the past two days He has used television, music and books to bring His message to me.  He has spoken to me through bible studies and devotions that I haven't picked up for several weeks - until today.  He has spoken to me through His Word and songs He has laid on my heart.  He's even spoken to me through television.  The first TV show I watched after our 40 day fast from television was Monday's episode of Joyce Meyers.  Her lesson was on waiting on the Lord - doing your part, what you are able to do, and then stepping aside and relying on God to take care of the rest - in His time.  When we don't so this we become weary.  His message through all these types of media has been very consistent - and it's not a coincidence.